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Friday 20 July 2018

Back to Black

Now this is probably stating the blindingly obvious but my blog's raison d'etre isn't to encourage you to buy clothes.   In the main, I shop my wardrobe, or shop my charity shop as I like to call it, as so much of what I wear is old and forgotten so when I wear it, it feels like I've just had a successful day in my fave second-hand shop.  Occasionally I will wear something new and very occasionally (like a few weeks ago!) I will have a bit of a shopping splurge.



So my "fashion" posts mostly show  what I happened to be wearing on the day, rather than any showcasing.  And I hope you like me this way!  As well as helping me in how I dress, I hope this blog encourages you to look to what you have and get creative.

I just wanted to get that across because yesterday I wore an old Next black linen dress that you've seen in various guises over the two and a bit years of my blog-life.  But it's a dress that gets rolled out for so many occasions.  Today's occasion was a funeral, sadly, but it was a beautiful funeral.  Do you find that happening more and more?  Funerals seem to be so thoughtfully and beautifully constructed these days.

I am traditional when it comes to funeral dress code.  I like to wear black. Yes, I invariably do go back to black.  I really wince a little when the funeral notice states "wear something colourful".  Just for the record, I like funeral-black and I find it somehow respectful of the occasion and the poor departed's soul.  For me the black allows those mourning to fade into the background whilst the focus is on the departed whose life is being celebrated, celebrated being the stance that seems to be taken for funerals these days.

Styled simply with bronze sandals and a black/beige/brown pendant.

So, I arrived at a standing-room-only crematorium and was greeted by the modern colourful array of clothing worn for this particular celebration.  Then when all were seated, the departed's brother and family arrived.  Nieces and nephews.  The former were uber-stylish.  One niece wore a fitted black dress, the print splattered with huge red flowers, and a massively brimmed black hat.  The other wore a simple figure-hugging black bardot dress.

Crocosmia

As the funeral service played out, it became more and more obvious that it was put together with thought and planning.  The departed had often told me proudly of his nieces and nephews talents and it was clear they wanted to do him proud.
The nephews, surviving brother and a friend gave beautiful readings and eulogies.  I perhaps had at this point thought that the young ladies were there for show rather than substance and I now feel bad for even thinking so shallowly and judgmentally, so please don't judge me as I'm fessing up now on that one!

Agapanthus.

But then the Audrey Hepburn style wide-brimmed hatted lady read a piece with much sensitivity and feeling.  And then the bardot dressed niece sang a moving medley of Smile/When You're Smiling.  I understand they are now West End performers, so their abilities were huge.  And it turned out that they were even longer on substance than they were on show.  So hey, don't judge me, I got that one totally wrong!

Yes, the family had decided to do their brother and uncle proud, and that they did.  It was a lovely experience and a perfect send-off for a man who showed such enthusiasm for all he did in life.

And thus, yesterday I went back to black.



A la perchoine.


18 comments:

  1. A lady from my gym passed away this week and her funeral is next Saturday. I am going but the family has requested that no one wear black - bright colors only to honor the woman who was so positive and upbeat. I am finding that to be the case more and more. Time are a changin' my sweet sista!
    You look lovely in this dress btw!
    xo,
    Kellyann

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    1. Hope the funeral goes well, and I'm guessing you'll wear fuchsia pink!
      I guess funerals are very specific to the individual these days and it's usually left to the survivors to interpret what the departed would have liked. So I like black and Baker Street - just sayin', sista !!
      Hope your weekend is cool and with the chance of amazeballs, x.

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  2. I love black! I've write it half my life. It doesn't make me think of funerals. I actually never wear black to a funeral.

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    1. Well that's interesting, Nancy, colour must be the new black! You're so right, we wear so much black in our day to day so its funeral tag has pretty much disappeared.

      I hear there's less chance of your forecasted 40c now, so I hope your weekend is prachtig! X

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  3. The service you attended sounds beautiful and I am so glad to read that every effort was made to make this a special occasion in which to do the deceased proud. It sounds like they succeeded! Unlike you, but like Nancy, I have never been inclined to wearing black at occasions such as the above. It may be because I love wearing black (my favourite colour in winter) and I feel good and therefore happy in it. Somehow ´good´ and ´happy´ do not go with the above and that may be the reason for my reluctance to wear black at funerals. I know that at the few funerals that I have attended since moving back to Holland, black clothing is worn less and less. It seems that these days it is more about celebrating someone´s life rather than mourning their death. I quite like that!

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    1. Yes, it was a good celebration of life, his family did a superb job.
      You and Nancy sound so similar ... you'd love her blog, and I think she's Dutch too.
      I'm all for celebration of life, but I like black and these days I sometimes feel like a rebel!
      Hugs my friend, hope you get some of that rain and go out dancing in it, sure beats a humid 40c. X.

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  4. I wear black nearly every day. It makes me happy and feels right. The lighter and brighter colors that have become more commonplace at funerals are fine as long as the wearer doesn't behave like they are attending a beach party.

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    1. Hi Joyce, it's interesting from the comments so far that black is linked with happy emotion, and I feel good wearing it too, any occasion. You did make me chuckle at the beach party bit, but you're so right - colours can influence behaviour!
      Have a joyous weekend, x

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  5. I, like you, always wear black to a funeral. It is a sign of respect and I totally agree with all you've said. Sorry you had this sad day, I hope you are feeling brighter now though. Jacqui Mummabstylish

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    1. I guess you and I feel more comfortable wearing black for the occasion, Jacqui, but we go with the flow eh. Thanks for your thoughts and kindness, go have yourself a colourful weekend! Hugs, x.

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  6. I too wear a lot of black but at my mother's recent funeral I wore black with a white spot. My mum hated black and nearly everyone who attended wore colour. The funeral was bright and cheery and a great celebration of her life. I think one should wear black if it's comfortable but as we get older it doesn't seem to suit as much as it did when we were younger.
    I loved all all recent posts and those of your friend evn though I haven't commented.

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    1. Hi Pieta, it sounds like there was no stipulated dress code for your mum's funeral, and I like that. It sounds like it was a great celebration of a much-loved lady. Your dress sounds spot-on!
      I think there are shades of black and some are harsher against the skin than others.
      Glad you've enjoyed my friend's pics. Enjoy your wintry weekend! Hugs, x.

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  7. You look stunning in this black dress. I would wear it anytime, not just for funerals. I always wear dark colors to funerals.

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    1. Well yes, Amy, this dress isn't just for funerals! I'm so pleased that you are with me on the dark colours/black. Hugs, x.

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  8. In light of the new wear-color-to-the funeral, I found a bit of a dilemma. I love black, and will always wear it, but have always also worn it to funerals. When confronted with the color dilemma, I wore my black floral slip dress with a black shrug over it. I complied with the wear color request, but felt better because with my shrug, I couldn't see the florals. Silly of me, I know, but I feel wearing black is a sign of my own personal mourning for the deceased.

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    1. Oh I did enjoy reading of how you overcame your dilemma. You found a clever solution to please all. I'll remember this workaround next time I face the wear-colour and I will think of you. Hugs my dear, x.

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  9. Dad hated mum in black and she never wore it. I find it very hard to wear black, the colour hates me!
    But mum's wish was to have colour at her funeral, so everyone was asked to wear colour. I wore navy and white. xx

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    1. Well I have seen you in a black top and jeans and black was definitely liking you!
      Your choice of navy and white for your mum sounds just perfect and I bet you did her proud, Laurie.
      Hugs, x.

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