Remember ...

If not now, when?

Saturday 17 November 2018

🎵Turning Oscar Wilde 🎶

To have one flat tyre is unfortunate.
To have two in one week is to indicate a fancy for the Tyre Man.

Well, I think I'm turning Oscar Wilde, I really think so, as that's how I was paraphrasing his observation as I drove down the hill to the coast a few weeks ago.  I'd just picked up The Photographer from the airport.

 My fears were confirmed as I drove into the car park.  My car had a flattie, just a day after Tyre Man sorted out a puncture on TP's car for me, which occurred whilst TP was off-island.  The tyre had a large nail stuck in its outer side.  As Tyre Man and I stared at it, l squirmed a little.  I'll admit now that it looked slightly suspect, staged, like I'd manufactured an excuse to visit Tyre Man.

That's the back-story.  Let's take this up at the point I reach the coast.  Grab a cuppa, cosy up and allow me to tell you my
Saturday Story.

Arrived at car park.

Flat.  TP sticks a wrench on the bolt and sets to work.

I looked around idly, camera in hand.

There could be worse places to have a flattie, I say.

Let's hope we can fix it before the sun sets, I say.

I'll record this in pictures, I say.  
(Rather helpfully, I thought.)

We scratch out heads and see what else we've got in the boot.
Phew, we find a spare!  But it's an inflatable.

We chuck out everything on to the tarmac.
We scratch out heads some more and look lost.

The bolts aren't moving.  We both bash and kick at the tyre bolts (TP only light-tapping on my orders as he's recovering from surgery).  
The bolts don't budge.
I phone Bro.  Bro lives other end of island.  Says he's on his way.

We scratch out heads some more.

Bloke on his way home from surfing pills in next to us for a ... to use the facilities. 
Bloke sees two aging dimwits scratching their heads  seizes adventure opportunity.  He takes over.  Frees each bolt with a single kick.  Removes tyre with ease.

Panic.  We can't find cigarette lighter outlet in new car to plug in the tyre inflation tube.
Refer to manual.  Manual is silent on subject.
Bloke looks in his little van.  Can't find his cigarette lighter outlet either. 
We all scratch out heads.

After much gymnastic jiggling in little van, Bloke has his Eureka! moment and finds the outlet.

Bloke starts inflating tyre.
Bloke dashes off  saunters off to have a ...use the facilities.

Bro thankfully arrives 20 minutes later on Suzuki.  ( Is this how Peter Fonda would morph now, with a 21st century 'elf and safety makeover of helmet and protective clothing?)

Bro knows Bloke.  Bro sees Bloke has been at it whilst Bro sped his merry Easy Rider way along the highway the coast road which spans the length off the island.

Bloke and Bro now bloke-bond and fit inflated spare together.

Removed tyre shows serious long term erosion and on the inside too.
Phew! Surely tyre-man can't suspect I've sabotaged THIS one?!  

Meantime, as TP had arrived on island dressed only in a short sleeved polo and has a cold, I insist he wears my jacket.


He looks like Don Johnson.

"When Miami Vice met Easy Rider"

The tyre is replaced just as the sun is setting.

I attempt to hand Bloke twenty quid for a beer after stepping in with such generous spirit and turning our crisis into a photo shoot.
He refuses proffered beer money point blank.
"There goes a true Guernseyman" says Bro proudly as Bloke drives off into the setting sun.

Next day, Tyre Man eyes me rather suspiciously  ...

...or am I just 🎵 Turning Oscar Wilde🎶?

A la perchoine, 

Big thanks to Bro and Bloke for helping us out of this jam.


  1. What a nightmare Mary! Good thing it all worked out in the end. Tyre Man looks a bit of a hunk!

    1. I mean, Gail, TWO flatties, back 2 back?! I can't even remember my last flat but I know it must have been at least four cars ago, and I don't change cars too often, so it was in the 90s maybe? This Bloke was so sweet, he could see we were struggling and just took over. The guy in the tyre shop is binky too and just the day before, when fitting the tyre on TP's car, we'd been reminiscing about life on the island in the 60s, so on paper it looked like I was manufacturing an excuse to go back for more!
      Happy Sunday, x.

  2. I, too, have had two flats in two weeks. I am told it is because I don't rotate my tires! How does a big nail in one's tire result from non-rotation? Don't ask me. I called my brother too, Mary. My brother did not arrive on a Suzuki, but in his truck, and he was just a bit cranky.

    1. Oh Susan, we should form a club! Maybe your bro had a long way to drive. But yes, no amount of rotation is going to prevent that nail sticking in to a tyre!
      Thanks for sharing your story. Hugs my dear, x.

  3. You are a great story teller! Your tire adventure started my morning off with giggles. Thanks.

    1. Tammy, I'm so flattered! Thanks, I'm pleased to have started your day with giggles, hugs x.

  4. Tyre Nightmare!! What a lovely island you live on where strangers are so happy to help folk in need and your brother is a true legend!! Great story with a happy ending! Love the pics too!

    1. Thanks, Missy, our islanders are so helpful and my bro, well his kindness is off the Richter scale! Stories always have to have a happy ending, eh. Glad you like my pics. Hugs, have a great week, x.

  5. I need a photo of Tyre Man to make an informed decision, honestly is he handsome? What could be the reason you are sabotaging the tires when you have a handsome Don Johnson look alike at the ready? Hmmmmmm Mary, I need more info!
    I will say it is awfully nice of your brother and the "Bloke" who needed to use the facilities! What a fun and entertaining story! Hugs to you and TP!!!

    1. Oh how I love you wanting all the facts before making your decision, so funny! We're talking Patrick Swayze, but my Don is where it's at!I
      My lovely Kellyann, you really are sounding SO British with you "awfully nice"!! I hope you speak like that around your sister in law, I think that was who you were telling about your British friend eh?
      Hugs backatcha, have the best thanksgiving tomorrow my sweet sista, x.

  6. You made my day! And so impressed that you and TP attempted to fix it yourselves. I highly doubt the Tyre Man would look as handsome as TP. Especially in the jacket. :-) :-)

    1. I'm here to entertain you, Susan! I was having to keep TP from doing too much as it was just a month after his surgery, but I was totally useless with my kicking, so we needed the A Team! Yeah, I thought TP looked so handsome in my jacket too!
      Hugs my sweet, x.

  7. I enjoyed reading your story, PP, even though it was a rather unfortunate one for you and TP! However, what a lovely gesture of Bloke and Bro to come and help. Only in Guernsey!!!

    1. Glad you enjoyed the story, Dutchie, and you know the Tyre Man eh?! So true, only in Guernsey - Bloke and Bro were so kind to leap in to help us two oldies. Hugs dear friend, have a great week, x.

  8. Great story and thank goodness for a happy ending! Love the shot of hubby sporting your jacket - in fact, not sure who looks best in it, hahaha! Only joking sweetie, as I think you're looking ab fab at the moment - keep up the good work!

    Anna x

    1. As thank you, Anna, he did look good in that jacket eh?! It really was a happy ending, and as you know yourself, islanders do help each other out in a crisis, even strangers. Hugs my sweet, enjoy your week, x.

  9. Oh my, I have one of those inflatable thingies in my car and haven't a clue how to use it...

    What a great story!

    1. Thank you, Vronni! If you have an inflatable too then I really do suggest you search out your cigarette lighter cos you never know when you might need a tyre change. Hugs, lovely lady, have a great week, x.

  10. Well. To start I thought you had the hotties for the tyre man! And then I see Don Johnson! I love that shot of them both Mary and like you say, could be worse places to have a flatty xx

    1. Oh my hotties are with Don alright 💘, especially in that jacket! And yes, Bro and Don look pretty good together, two film stars!
      Hugs, my lovely, enjoy your week and keep warm, x.