Being ... Nigella

Last year I was Nora and Jane.  So far this year, I've been Anna and Une Femme.  It's about time for another Being ...

But first, a bit of back-story.  I save outfit ideas on my Kindle.  I have to admit that relatively few become reality.  I have a virtual self, an alter ego, who dresses imaginatively and each and every outfit she is inspired by becomes a reality, put together from shopping her wardrobe.  But the real me is mostly out living her day to day and never quite finds the time for her dream dressing.  Occasionally, I get really fired up and go for it.

Especially if the outfit is as simple as this.

I find a lot of inspiration on Andrea's blog and recently she posted a simple yet punchy outfit here.  She looked lovely.  Short black dress worn with denim jacket and slouchy shoes (can't remember what they're called).

No short dresses for me (you have seen my knees in shorts?)  but a black midi would work.  Which I have ... worn here

So I saved Andrea's pic on my Kindle with good intentions of doing a steal.

Just a few days later Jacqui had posted her take on the outfit here. Her variation was to substitute the dress for a black jumpsuit. So glam.  I liked her thoroughness as she even put her hair up a la Andrea and sourced a similar necklace.

Well, jumpsuits and I have a way-back history from the 80s which is not to be repeated, so I decided on how I wanted my take to look and this morning I got going.

My styling was a black jersey midi dress, pendant, GAP denim jacket and Birkies.

But why do you find me in my kitchen?  Well because as I started visualising the outfit, I was soon channeling Nigella.  Nigella about 10 years ago, the chunkier and sloppier version who clunked around in long skirts and Birkies and burkhinis.  Not the one we see today, who is gorgeous Nigella, post divorce and post her double-bunion operation diet.

And what would vintage Nigella do when you popped in unexpectedly?

Why, she'd whip up something tasty from thin air.  So my Nigella has made you a cheese and chilli tortilla (recipe below).

Then what would Nigella do after devouring her Mexican breakfast?

She'd feel that she needed some exercise. But not a lot.

 And inspired by her Birkies and led by her free spirit, she'd take you down on the beach to walk off a few calories.  But just a few.

However, first she'd have a sit-down as getting out of the car had been a tad strenuous.

   

Then she'd realise she hadn't given you a pudd, so she'd sniff you out an ice cream.

After lustfully devouring a huge cone with complete abandon. Nigella would walk you through the long undergrowth, filling the conversation with one or two of her best innuendos. 

As she hadn't packed her burkhini, she'd invite you to go skinny dipping.  Her version being to merely dip her bare toes in the water.

She'd take lots of breaks during the walk but not waste these moments - though stationary, her face would be animated, mouth pouting and eyes flashing you suggestive looks before looking away demurely.



Of course, she would be concerned that it was a windy day and her hair was being blown unflatteringly away from her chubby face and her dress was billowing out in an equally unflattering way.  But this canny little minx would divert your attention away from this plainer view of her with "Oh look, what a cute seagull, what were the chances of seeing one of those here?!!

"Have you checked out my recently pedicured toes?  Oh, is that a bunion forming?"

"See how good I look in far away shots".

Those sort of diversionary tactics.  Oh she's good.

"Let's do the "I'm a little teapot" song!"

"Oh what a shame these limpet shells are empty - I could have rustled you up a super limpet and samphire icecream."

"Take a look at my manicure too - Tutti Fruiti, don't y'know?!"

And then she would need another rest.  Being a lusty wench is so tiring, Being ... Nigella is tiring.  

So she would stop to look at her winter-pale legs and see her whole self as pale and interesting and definitely not think it was time to get out the self-tan.

I hope your enjoyed your date with Nigella.

Now, here's an idea.  Denim jacket outer, black inner.  Most of us have both in our wardrobes. 

This basic outfit gives you free-rein to put your own stamp on it.

Wouldn't it be fun for you to have a go at it?  Then tell me how your take on it panned out. 

And if you are a blogger, maybe post your pic.  I'm thinking that an outfit with such simple ingredients could turn out to be a sort of relay.  First leg, Andrea, then Jacqui, then The Pout is passing the baton on to ... who?  Who fancies a bit of fun?  Anna maybe?

And talking of ingredients ... I give you

Cheese and Chilli Tortilla

It's inspired by a Nigella recipe, of course

Heat olive oil in frying pan.  Place handful of grated cheese on half of a soft tortilla, then sprinkle with sliced spring onion and chilli (either fresh and finely chopped or use flakes).

Fry briefly on either side.  Eat in lascivious manner looking at camera as you lick your fingers suggestively.

I had this for breakfast this morning.  But without all the lewd stuff!

A la perchoine