Sometimes online shopping works. Sometimes it doesn't.
When I was at a down-point during our recent troubles I went a-shoppin' online at Next. I needed distraction, grounding, normality - and this did it for me, briefly. It was a form of therapy during a difficult time. I guess I entered the world of retail therapy. I'd never done that before.
And then the bags started a-tricklin' into Chez Pout.
I'd set my heart on this grey jumper. Perfect with my coated jeans in winter and white jeans in summer, thought I. Nah. Not to be. SOLD OUT. Don't you just hate seeing those words?
You really have to be quick off the mark with Next, snooze and you lose and I have to admit that my dithering over the "go to checkout" button meant I was one very sorry loser.
Never mind, plenty more big grey jumpers in the sea, thought I. Well, not so, it turns out, for I found just two. Perhaps we have entered a season of colour and grey is now so last winter.
The nearest I could find was this baggy affair but unfortunately we are talking not baggy but huge tent. I'd thought it may not be as voluminous as the pic IRL . But the model must be the height of a Watussi because IRL it certainly is a marquee. It's going back.
My back-up plan was this v-neck. Again it veers towards tent, though not quite marquee, more your little Glastonbury festival goer's tent. But still a tent. And the knit was very thin, maybe OK in August, but would I want to be wearing a jumper in August? Well, the answer to that is "No", just in case there was any doubt. So it's going back too.
All is not lost, however. For after this sadly disappointing try-on, I've learned a vital lesson. Don't be a ditherer - add to basket, go to checkout and then relax, my therapist's work is done.
A la perchoine.